Marisa

Feb 012017
 

It’s that time of year where we have all made resolutions and set goals. Some of us want to learn to play an instrument or take lessons. If you are in Austin or have a Guitar Center nearby then you should definitely check out the classes they are offering!

The Austin music stores at Guitar Center are open from 10am until 9pm on weekdays and also have hours on both Saturdays and Sundays! They offer services for rentals, repairs, and even for professionals!

Rentals available at Guitar Center Austin Include:
Guitars
Effects
Drums
Keyboards
Lighting
DJ gear
Sound systems
Microphones
PA systems
Speakers
Backline equipment

Definitely go and check out Guitar Center Austin or find one near you on their website! You can start your journey by taking lessons or pick up professional equipment for any event!

Sep 272016
 

These egg shakers at Musician’s Friends look so fun and will help with some added percussion to any type of music. It has always amazed me watching classic musicians playing, like Fleetwood Mac and seeing shakers or a tambourine and thinking “that can’t possibly do anything” and yet, when you listen to the beat and the hum of the music you can feel these small instruments and you know the music just wouldn’t be the same without them! I have enjoyed many videos of people starting music online using shakers because it fills in some noise without stealing from their voices or the acoustics of their guitars. Definitely a fun gift for your favorite musician!!

 Posted by at 1:47 AM
Sep 272016
 

So excited to announce that guitar center atlanta is a new location is Alpharetta, Ga which is an awesome looking location with classes offered and all sorts of instruments and gear available! Opened seven days a week and offering lessons of different types each weekday is such great! With Christmas quickly approaching (EEK!) giving the gift of an instrument and/or lessons to an aspiring musician would make an amazing present!!

 Posted by at 1:28 AM
Sep 172016
 

I never knew that I could or would learn to be ashamed of my nakedness again, looking at my body and feeling like it should be hidden under layers of shapeless clothes, covering the saggy-breasts and stretch marks caused by having babies, the extra weight and even cellulite on my bum and hips becoming something that make me hate the mirror all while I am supposed to sit there and look into that same piece of glass and tell myself I am beautiful and loved, when a month ago I felt beautiful, I felt loved, and now I can barely look myself in the eyes without seeing the ugliness that everyone else must see when they look at me.

I wash my face and brush my teeth and when I lock eyes with my own tears well up and trickle down my cheeks, leaving a salted surface that feels like it’s eating away the very flesh that no one should be seeing anyway.

I am ugly.

I’ve never thought those three words before. I have thought I am fat. I need to lose weight. I have health issues. I have stretch marks or what I once called lines of love since they were formed while I was growing a child inside of me with months of bed rest keeping my weight out of control.

Yet today, and right now, I want to cover the mirrors in a shroud of black. I don’t want to see my reflection, or to be seen by anyone at all. I want to tape over my webcam just in case it accidentally gets turned on so that no one can be disgusted by the “what” that I have become. I toss on clothes despite being uncomfortably hot while covered in layers of thick blankets that already hide my body, just so I don’t have to see myself.

Like my ugliness is so appalling I shouldn’t even glance with my own eyes.

A month ago I was supposed to go in and get my annual check up and asked the nurse if my doctor could do it because he knows my scars and wounds and I don’t want anyone else to see them, now I won’t be making the appointment at all because I don’t want to disgust him with my nakedness, having to touch me through latex-free gloves and swab samples from the parts that are hidden away that most definitely shouldn’t be seen.

Last night I wore a long shapeless tunic with sleeves that met my hands and a skirt that met my ankles and I felt disgusting and exposed because I was wearing flip flops instead of something that would have covered me completely, like a pair of boots.

And yet, I am supposed to believe I am beautiful and all I want to do is hide.

Words cut deeper than any razor, knife or scalpel ever could. My confidence went from healthy to non-existent but it’s not anyone’s fault but my own because I am emotional and twist the words so they hurt instead of taking them to mean whatever they are “supposed” to.

I actually thought today that I should put on some makeup, not to feel pretty or playful, but to hide the disgusting skin I am in. Instead I stayed in bed all day because no one would want to see me anyway.

Because, I am ugly.

Sep 122016
 

Dust in the Snow –October 11 006 –Marisa Slusarcyk

Overthinking all that should be forgot

Took my blood without a second thought

You lied, I cried

Only wish one had died

The pain inside is obvious to see

Branded into her blood ridden lines of three

Push through the window braking hard to stop

I see you, I feel you

And as I come to a slow

You’re gone,

Like dust in the snow

Forever it feels you’ll bounce in my head

Get out of me, get out now

You’ve played enough games

Please take your final bow

My heart is broken

But for you it does not mourn

The scars on the outside match those on thee in

The life I have led

Because of you

Is buried in sin

One day you will pay as I do now

God is the forgiving type

But for you I don’t see how

In hell you will burn to ashes each day

Forgotten,

Like dust in the snow

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